So for once I have stuck with a blog for multiple months with a purpose. I joined the Blog to Lose website a few months ago, and love it! I have lost 7 pounds, and am really hoping to keep going.
http://www.blogtolose.com/profile/Rebecca944
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Stop callin stop callin I dont wanna talk anymore...
It is amazing how the words of another person can change the way that you feel about yourself. These are some examples that have effected me lately:
At Christmas, I was getting a gift card for Joshua at a meat store. It was run by two really sweet ladies, one of them in her late 30s and one in her late 60s probably. They were both totally adoring Cassie, and I mentioned something about how she was getting a lot more for Christmas than what she probably needed. The younger woman said something about how she could tell that she had everything that she needed, because she was obviously loved, she was warm and clothed and probably not hungry and obviously was safe.
I don't remember her exact words, but the gist of the comment was that she could tell how loved Cassie is by how happy she is and that I was doing a great job as a mommy. It really made me feel good to have a woman that I didn't know say something like that with total conviction.
Last weekend at Kristin's house, her mom told me that she thought I was doing a great job also. Coming from someone who has four kids of her own, and who I am sure did things much differently than I am, it also made me feel good. I can get told all of the time by Joshua that he thinks I'm doing a good job, but for some reason hearing it from other mothers makes a difference.
Maybe its also because I would like to hear it from my own mother? I wouldn't say that she criticizes me, but she definitely makes comments that imply that she knows how Cassie should be raised and that I don't know what I'm doing. And I don't, but I'm trying, and would welcome some praise once in a while.
The other example is work-related. There is a girl I work with named Amanda, who has also worked in education for quite a few years. A couple of weeks after I started at the nature center, I overheard my boss on the phone across the hall. Its a small office space, I promise, it was hard not to hear. He was telling someone about the staff he had this year, and he went through Seth and Heather before he got to Amanda. He said neutral things about the first two, and then said good things about Amanda. He said that she had potential to have a solid future there. Then he had to get off of the phone, but I don't think he knew me well enough at that point to make a judgment about me anyways.
Ever since then, I have felt like Amanda was my competition in the chance of an opening. There is a slim possibility of a part-time KDWP position in the fall, and I know we both want it. I have been trying to prove myself to everyone there ever since I started, and I feel like I'm finally doing it. I have felt a little bossy sometimes too, especially when we are working together to plan the OK Kids event.
Well today, Amanda stopped and made it a point to tell me that she thinks that I'm doing a really good job on my work at the nature center. It really surprised me, because she said she had been thinking about it for a couple of days. She said that she likes my leadership with the event and doesn't think that its bossy, and she is amazed at the number of tasks that I take on and how well I execute them.
It was nice to hear that from her, because it makes me feel like she realizes that I want to be there too. I know there was no actual competition, but I'd like to think I was a worth adversary. After doing a program last week in front of my boss as well as some of the other long-time naturalists, I got a pat on the back and "great job" from my boss. Someone else told me that I did a really good job also.
I just feel like such a goober at the post office all of the time, because I make stupid mistakes and say stupid things to the supervisors because I don't think them through. So it makes me feel much better to have people giving me positive feedback on my other job, because I know in the long run that is the one that matters.
Oh, and I watched the video for "Telephone" with Lady Gaga and Beyonce....and I've decided that I really hate that all of her music is so addicting, because she is very incredibly tacky and horrible. I would never want Cassie to like music by someone who dressed the way she did in that video. Gross.
At Christmas, I was getting a gift card for Joshua at a meat store. It was run by two really sweet ladies, one of them in her late 30s and one in her late 60s probably. They were both totally adoring Cassie, and I mentioned something about how she was getting a lot more for Christmas than what she probably needed. The younger woman said something about how she could tell that she had everything that she needed, because she was obviously loved, she was warm and clothed and probably not hungry and obviously was safe.
I don't remember her exact words, but the gist of the comment was that she could tell how loved Cassie is by how happy she is and that I was doing a great job as a mommy. It really made me feel good to have a woman that I didn't know say something like that with total conviction.
Last weekend at Kristin's house, her mom told me that she thought I was doing a great job also. Coming from someone who has four kids of her own, and who I am sure did things much differently than I am, it also made me feel good. I can get told all of the time by Joshua that he thinks I'm doing a good job, but for some reason hearing it from other mothers makes a difference.
Maybe its also because I would like to hear it from my own mother? I wouldn't say that she criticizes me, but she definitely makes comments that imply that she knows how Cassie should be raised and that I don't know what I'm doing. And I don't, but I'm trying, and would welcome some praise once in a while.
The other example is work-related. There is a girl I work with named Amanda, who has also worked in education for quite a few years. A couple of weeks after I started at the nature center, I overheard my boss on the phone across the hall. Its a small office space, I promise, it was hard not to hear. He was telling someone about the staff he had this year, and he went through Seth and Heather before he got to Amanda. He said neutral things about the first two, and then said good things about Amanda. He said that she had potential to have a solid future there. Then he had to get off of the phone, but I don't think he knew me well enough at that point to make a judgment about me anyways.
Ever since then, I have felt like Amanda was my competition in the chance of an opening. There is a slim possibility of a part-time KDWP position in the fall, and I know we both want it. I have been trying to prove myself to everyone there ever since I started, and I feel like I'm finally doing it. I have felt a little bossy sometimes too, especially when we are working together to plan the OK Kids event.
Well today, Amanda stopped and made it a point to tell me that she thinks that I'm doing a really good job on my work at the nature center. It really surprised me, because she said she had been thinking about it for a couple of days. She said that she likes my leadership with the event and doesn't think that its bossy, and she is amazed at the number of tasks that I take on and how well I execute them.
It was nice to hear that from her, because it makes me feel like she realizes that I want to be there too. I know there was no actual competition, but I'd like to think I was a worth adversary. After doing a program last week in front of my boss as well as some of the other long-time naturalists, I got a pat on the back and "great job" from my boss. Someone else told me that I did a really good job also.
I just feel like such a goober at the post office all of the time, because I make stupid mistakes and say stupid things to the supervisors because I don't think them through. So it makes me feel much better to have people giving me positive feedback on my other job, because I know in the long run that is the one that matters.
Oh, and I watched the video for "Telephone" with Lady Gaga and Beyonce....and I've decided that I really hate that all of her music is so addicting, because she is very incredibly tacky and horrible. I would never want Cassie to like music by someone who dressed the way she did in that video. Gross.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
I think we're alone now...
Well obvious I am not doing as well about posting in this as I would have liked. As much as I love being around Cassie every day, she is really just now getting to the point where her personality is coming out and stories can start to happen....
She's 8 1/2 months now, and that sounds so big to me. I know that she has the rest of her life, and 8 months is nothing, but it is AMAZING how far a baby comes in 8 short months. She looks so different now, yet exactly the same as when she was born.
She is trying to crawl, although she doesn't seem particularly determined. She can push up on her hands and knees, and take a couple of moves forward, then decides she wants to sit down and play with something else. I kind of wonder what she would do if we put her down in the middle of a room with no toys within 5 feet, but I have the feeling she would just sit there and cry until someone comes to get her.
She really hates feeling alone. She hates to nap by herself. She will only nap for maybe 20 - 30 minutes by herself, but if she is on top of grandma or beside me, she will sleep for a couple of hours. She is usually fine sitting in her car seat while we're getting ready, but if I step into the other room to grab my shoes she'll start screaming.
I can't help but wonder if any of that has to do with her stay in the hospital for jaundice. I felt so bad watching her lay there all alone and exposed under the lights, and now its showing how much she doesn't like to be feel alone. Maybe thats normal for babies and I just don't know that, but she definitely does seem to have someone close by as much as possible.
I know that she should never BE alone either, but I'm talking for a couple of minutes in her crib while I'm in the bathroom, or for a split second while I get something from another room. I would never leave her alone in a situation where she could get hurt. Especially with her being able to pull up now.
Oh well, I'll just need to snuggle her more I guess. Let's see if I can go less than 5 months before the next post eh.....
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